Emotional Regulation and Speech Development: 5 Strategies to Help Children Communicate

Alison McDonald
Jul 22
3 min read

Woman and boy play with colored sand in a classroom. Two kids in the background. Bright, cheerful setting with educational decor. — Co-regulation through calm, sensory-rich play builds safety—an essential foundation for speech and communication.

“Why does my child lose their words when they’re upset?”

“Could emotional outbursts be getting in the way of speech development?”

“My student shuts down in the middle of conversations. What’s going on?”

Parents and teachers often notice a pattern: when emotions run high, communication tends to shut down. What many don’t realise is that this isn’t misbehaviour or disinterest. This is a regulation issue. And it has everything to do with how the brain processes emotion, safety, and language.

At Newcastle Speech Pathology, we work closely with families and educators every day to support children as they navigate both big emotions and develop their communication skills. One of the most common concerns we observe is the impact of emotional regulation on speech and language development.

What Is Emotional Regulation?

Emotional regulation is a child’s ability to recognise, manage, and express their feelings in a way that fits the situation. It’s a developmental skill that supports relationships, learning, and, more critically, speech and language development.

Children need to feel regulated and safe to engage socially and use language effectively. When they become overwhelmed, their brain prioritises survival over communication. That’s why understanding the link between emotional regulation and speech development is key to supporting children holistically.

How Emotional Regulation Impacts Communication

When a child is dysregulated, frustrated, anxious, overstimulated, or shut down, the language centres in the brain are harder to access.

This means:

Speech production can become unclear or pause entirely
Language processing (understanding others) may slow down
Social communication (e.g., turn-taking or eye contact) can break down

That’s why emotional regulation and speech development go hand in hand. Children need calm, safety, and connection to access their full communication potential.

5 Strategies That Support Emotional Regulation and Speech Development

These strategies support emotional regulation and speech development by meeting the nervous system where it’s at and gently bringing children back into their window of tolerance.

1. Safety First: Regulate Before You Relate

Before we can expect a child to talk, listen, or learn, we must help them feel safe. Try using a quiet voice, soft eyes, slow breathing, and physical proximity without pressure. This supports the ventral vagal system, which plays a central role in speech development and social connection.

2. Rhythmic, Repetitive, and Relational Activities

Activities like swinging, walking, or bouncing a ball help regulate the nervous system. Pairing these with language (“Swing high!” or “1-2-3-go!”) helps children associate calm movement with communication.

3. Use Visual Tools to Support Language

Visual aids reduce pressure and support understanding when a child is dysregulated.

Use:

Feelings charts
Picture schedules
First/Then boards

These tools support both emotional regulation and speech development, particularly in children who struggle to find the right words when experiencing strong emotions.

4. Co-Regulate Through Connection

You are the child’s best regulation tool.

Try:

Matching their breathing
Sitting close with a calming tone
Sharing a repetitive activity like drumming or passing a ball

This shared calm creates the foundation for language development and social engagement.

5. Model Emotional Language

Help children learn to name what they’re feeling:

“You’re smiling and jumping—I think you’re excited!”“You’re quiet and your shoulders are tight—maybe you’re worried?”

Modelling this kind of language supports emotional literacy and strengthens both speech and emotional regulation over time.

Why It Matters

Children who are supported with regulation tools are more likely to:

Understand what others are saying
Communicate clearly and confidently
Manage transitions and routines
Engage socially at home, school, or daycare

When we support emotional regulation and speech development together, we’re not just building language skills, we’re helping children feel safe, seen, and understood.

When to Seek Help

If your child:

Has frequent meltdowns or shutdowns
Goes nonverbal or mumbles during emotional moments
Shows delays in both emotional regulation and speech development

…they may benefit from an assessment with a speech pathologist.

At Newcastle Speech Pathology, we take a holistic approach to care. We understand how deeply regulation, speech, and connection are wired together. And we’re here to support every step of your child’s communication journey.